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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I'm going to talk about what women want in a man what women really want in a man let's talk about that what is it that women really want this is such a fascinating topic to me and I'm so excited to talk about it because I spent so much of my own blood sweat and tears figuring this out I came from such a dysfunctional place in my life with lack of relationships and not understanding the opposite sex not understanding sex at all not understanding the dynamics of psychology involved and so basically I was completely miserable and I had to really work really hard to dig my way out of that hole and in that process I I learned a lot of stuff studied a lot of material but then actually went out and practiced it and applied it so this is kind of where I'm coming from it now I'm always excited to go back and share my biggest insights with some of you guys who might be kind of going through that same kind of situation in your life it's really important to understand what women want because well if you don't understand what a woman wants then you're not going to be able to attract her and you're not going to be able to keep her so for me personally when I started on this journey a few years back what I told myself is that I'm not just gonna use a little gimmick to try to attract a woman what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna understand women at their core really understand them and they're not that difficult to understand most men have a lot of trouble understanding women but really if you dig into it and you go out there and you practice and you do a lit of studying it's not that hard and here I'm gonna give you the straightforward how-to of what it takes to attract a woman and what it is that a woman is really looking for in a man because that's what we're talking about what's gonna attract her is what she's looking for so they're kind of two sides of the same coin so the first point I'm gonna make is first of all never listen to a woman about what she wants in a man all right it might sound like well the proper person ask is the woman why don't I go ask a woman about what she wants and then give it to her the problem with that is that it doesn't work I try it guys have tried that it's not gonna help you if you're a guy and you want to get better with girls it's not going to help you because a woman's way of understanding what she wants and a woman's way of understanding her own psychology is not the same understanding that a guy needs to have of her psychology right a woman is not their psycho analyzing herself to the same kind of degree that a guy psycho analyzes a woman so we're really coming from kind of asymmetrical points of view on this and that's okay that's fine a woman is more in the moment she doesn't care to really analyze exactly what's going on that wounds the the moment for her and that really kind of like ruins the whole love connection relationship thing I mean some women are into analyzing it but most women are not really that interested in analyzing what it takes to fall in love they just happens very spontaneously and naturally for them and in fact most of them can get offended or can be kind of put off when they see that a guy is trying to like psychoanalyze them and kind of like nitpick and try to pull out the the like the wiring and to kind of like see like what are the actual like mechanics of love of sex of attraction but we're gonna go into that because this is an analytical video I'm an analytical guy and this is what guys need to know if they're struggling if you're not struggling then you probably don't need to know this stuff you probably already know it intuitively so women what the women really want very simple women want deep emotional intimacy every woman really wants this this is the coordinate right this is the Nugget from this we can then derive other things that she wants but this is ultimately what she's looking for in a man and in a relationship and of course women are are very social creatures women are driven by relationships and by emotions and social interaction a lot more so than guys are for women that's like a fish and water motion I'm not saying that all women are like that I mean these are general generalizations but still nevertheless it's very true that women are very fluid in relationships they have easier time in relationship there's actually neuroscience that shows that physiologically the woman's brain is more adapted to relationship building and is more adapted to two actual verbal cognition so verbal skills are stronger and females and they are in males because of just the way that the brain is wired differently the male brain is more wired towards logical analysis so understanding that is important right because once you understand that then you can kind of see where the woman is coming from and what she wants and also kind of what rubs her the wrong way and also why women behave in the way salient they behave so women love people women are tend to be caring women to be very free-flowing spontaneous if they're feminine and they've got a strong feminine energy then they're gonna be spontaneous and they're gonna be emotional they're also gonna be nurturing so they've got all these qualities the reason I'm talking about this is because it's going to now connect us into what women are looking for right you have to understand a woman first before you can see what she wants and understand why she wants these things so that's kind of where the woman is now what is she really looking for well I mean this is not some magic or some secret like there's one secret thing that a woman wants no I mean you got to look at it from the woman's perspective in the same way that you can look at it from a guy's perspective like what does a guy want in a girl I mean he wants everything what does a woman want in a man she wants everything I mean she wants to full package who would say no to everything the question is what can she get and the question is what can you get as a guy so there's always a little bit of adversity here between what you want and what you get it's kind of like an auction system right you have a seller who puts up an item and then you have bidders and the seller is gonna get only as much as the bidders are willing to give it's like that in an auction like it on eBay it's like that in the stock market with buyers and sellers of stocks and it's actually like that in the sex market right in the dating and relationship market it is a market and people are out there shopping around and what are they shopping around for they're shopping around for the maximum survival of their offspring and that doesn't always feel that way to a woman it certainly doesn't feel like she's shopping around for maximum survival of her offspring but in fact if you look at it and you analyze the science that's what's happening it's just that there's a lot of nice emotions involved with it and the emotions carry you through and the rest it happens unconsciously I mean a guy is doing the same thing most guys are not psychoanalyzing and like really looking at the science behind what they're doing but nevertheless there is there is this this core this core here right that you're trying to maximize your reproductive value well to do that that means you're trying to find the best possible mate so what does a woman want I mean she wants everything she wants good looks she wants security she wants social status she wants loyalty from the guy she wants a guy who's confident she wants a guy who has humor she wants a guy who is detached and not needy with her she wants a guy who's edgy and adventurous and she wants a guy who she could have like deep intimate dirty sex with all right these are the core elements of what a woman wants if you can give her all of these things you're gonna be her ideal match she's gonna love you all right now of course you don't need to worry too much about trying to give her everything you don't need to in a real world she's not gonna want everything because she can't get everything she's gonna settle for something and a guy does this to a guy ideally and a woman he's gonna want a whole list of things right just like a woman in a man wants certain things a guy will want certain things in a girl and they're gonna be different but they're still gonna be equally rigorous guys are picky and women are picky it's not that one of them is more picky than the next they're both equally picky but they're picky in different ways so a woman is picky in these ways and what's interesting here is that this whole list that I rattled off I'm gonna go into detail on each one of them and what's interesting is that some of the points on this list are really not as important as they are made out to be in popular culture in the media or even as you would think they might be important or even what a woman would tell you so if you actually go out there and you study this stuff and you actually go out and do practical interactions with women and you go out and you date lots of women what you're going to discover is the core principles of what a woman really wants in a man and the others you're gonna discover are kind of like you know take it or leave it they're not deal-breakers there are certain things in a man that are absolute deal-breakers for a woman so let's go and talk about that that's really fascinating so the first part of this list good looks security social status and loyalty these are all things that you would think a woman would really really want in a man so good looks a lot of guys are really hung up about looks and they think that they need to improve their looks a lot in order to get a better girl the next is security a lot of guys will try to attract a woman with security and by security we mean money or playing that provider role in her life doing nice things for her doing her favors being the nice guy you know just kind of going above and beyond providing for her financially there's that then there's the third point of social status so women are attracted to social status they like a guy who has some sort of social value in society not just a bum on the street but someone who has got like a nice career or he's got some some celebrity he's got some prestige he's got some fame women are notoriously attracted to that it just totally turns them on and the next point is loyalty so women are relationship bound types of creatures most women like to be in exclusive relationships most women like to be in kind of a one-on-one deep very intimate relationship this goes back to the original point of what do women really want they want deep emotional intimacy so the best way for them to get that is in relationship because also that that has some of the other points too it gives them give some more security as well and of course boosts reproductive value and chances for their offspring so those four points though as important as they might seem they are they're actually not deal-breakers they're not that important so if you're struggling with your looks as a guy if you've got security problems so you don't have a lot of money and you don't have a great career or if you have no social status you're basically a nobody and if you don't even want to be loyal to the girl I mean I would encourage you to hit all those points but you don't need to hit those points in fact some of the most successful guys don't hit any of those points at all and they're ridiculously ridiculous accessible with women and I'm not just talking about like getting lots of average girls I'm talking about getting like the hottest possible supermodel porn star girls so these guys are ridiculous lethal and that's because what they have is they have these other points on this list which are the deal breakers they've got the deal breakers down and then the other stuff you know it would be nice to have some of some guys have it but if you don't have it not very important here are the deal breakers all right so this is where it gets really cool confidence as a man if you don't have confidence you're pretty much worthless to a woman so confidence is so important basically a woman will not date a man who's who's lower in confidence than her than she is so not possible at all or even if she does end up sleeping with you or dating you for a little bit in the end it's not going to be something to be a match so I kind of it's not gonna be a happy long-term relationship so you need to have more confidence than your woman you need to be a strong you need to be masculine you need to be a man the next point is humor women love humor notoriously so they'll tell you this and on this point they're actually right that this is something that they really want in a man and the reason that they want humor is because women are emotional creatures what they really want is they want emotional stimulation and emotional stimulation can be both positive and negative but of course they like the positive emotions more although a little bit of negative emotion is still stimulating to them and they enjoy that they'd like to have a range of emotions they're not like guys who are just like a flatline emotionally you know guys are just kind of like stoic calm we're either happy or sad or we're angry or horny like those are the only emotions we have as a guy whereas for a woman there's a I'm much kind of like broader and subtler range of emotions that she likes to go through and humor and laughing and smiling is so important if you can make your woman laugh and be playful with her I'm doctor playful attitude towards your relationship with her then she will love you so much and that's gonna be rare that's rare to find in a man so that's a really a really critical point the next point is detachment a man needs to be detached from his woman and now this is a point that women will actually dispute you on and they'll say well I don't really want a detached guy what is this detachment thing detachment it sounds like he's an [ __ ] and he doesn't care about me that's not what detachment means detachment simply means that you're a man and as a man you're on purpose in your life and that the woman is not primary it's your life and sometimes women will say well but I want to be you know the center of my man's life that's not what you really want what a woman really wants is she wants her man to be completely grounded confident masculine out there achieving in the world and then she wants him to be loyal to her of course and to be nice and sweet to her and all that detachment doesn't mean that you're an [ __ ] but it does mean that you're grounded in something outside of your woman so that you're not needy with her women will leave needy guys in a second not only will they leave them in a second they won't even talk to them they will reject you just go out and try it go to any bar any club be needy with a woman that you've met for five minutes she will [ __ ] leave you like the plague all right it's obnoxious so do not be needy with women you have to be detached this is such a deal-breaker this may be one of the biggest deal-breakers as far as guys and girls go in the dating scene if you're a guy with neediness issues you need to iron those out all right the next point is women like guys who are edgy what does this mean edgy guys who are edgy are not the straight-laced kind of JP Morgan stockbroker types guys who are edgy are more like the adventurous kind of archetype right he's the adventurer he's like the poet the musician the artist the quirky hippie something like that like these are stereotypes but ultimately what a woman wants there is she wants a sense of like newness the guy is there to infuse her with emotions so in order to do that I mean who's gonna infuse it with more emotions some sort of like beatnik poet or the guy from JP Morgan who sells stocks I mean nothing against guys from JP Morgan I'm sure they have interesting lives and wolf of wallstreet proves that you know stockbrokers can have can have an adventurous lifestyle so whatever but just kind of as stereotypes you get the idea the idea is that you want to be interesting and you want to be a little bit dangerous women like men who are a little bit dangerous challenged them women need to be challenged see if the woman is challenging the man in the relationship that's that's backwards and it shows signs of dysfunction and chances are that she's gonna get bored with you as the man and leave you because she wants something exciting she wants a man who was out there and like doing stuff in the world not a guy who just goes to his boring high five job and then comes home has sex with her and then there's nothing else like to her that gets really boring there's no emotional stimulation in that maybe that works with a guy it doesn't really work well for the girl she wants to blazon and then lastly intimate dirty sex may be my favorite all right intimate dirty sex women love this they'll never admit it to you but because it's just socially unacceptable for them to do so they have a lot of social conditioning that gives them a lot of limiting beliefs around sex generally I find but this is so important if you can give your woman deep intimate and dirty sex and I'm stressing intimate and dirty those two should come together right there they're kind of a match if you've got both of those and you're doing that on a regular basis then wow she's gonna love you and that alone right there can be enough to get her a dick to take you like crack and basically all the other points I mean if you get the sex part right all the other points as long as you're able to attract her and then you get the sex point the sex point correct all the other points you can kind of drop and you'll still be able to keep around for quite a while because women do really love sex and if you can please her in the bedroom in the right way then wow you have a huge advantage over so many other guys so this is it these are the points again to recap the points that are real important the ones that are deal-breakers for a woman if you don't have our confidence humor detachment edginess or adventure Ness and intimate dirty sex the points that are not so important and a woman will not need them although she would like them our good looks financial security social status loyalty alright so if you've been having trouble with women then we can probably understand why and that's because you've been focusing on the points a lot of guys they'll build their entire lives around capturing their green their dream girl by hitting these points that are not really that important to them so they're gonna go and try to get the best looks at they can and then maybe try to earn a lot of money and then maybe get some social status in the community and then promise they're gonna be loyal to the girl like say that they're gonna marry marry her whatever and they think that that's how they're gonna get the girl and they're gonna keep her happy but that's not what she really wants I mean she'll take those things but she will leave you at all in a flash of a second if she finds a guy who's willing to be with her who is super confident humorous and playful detached from outcome and adventurous and gives her intimate and dirty sex like there's no comparison about who she's gonna go with because look at what what we're talking about here here she's getting tons of emotional stimulation right emotional stimulation this is what her whole life is about emotional stimulation being feminine she gets that here here with the security and the social status I mean those are nice those can provide for her those can be nice to her on the logical level maybe she even needs those things in her life because maybe she's strapped for money or maybe she wants to be part of the social circle that you're part of okay that's nice but there's like there's there's so little emotional stimulation in those things in and of themselves I mean realistically most guys will blend all this together and they'll be kind of in the middle somewhere but some guys can be very extreme on one end or very extreme on the other so if you're very extreme here or there I mean ultimately I encourage you to to be the full package because I mean that's what she ultimately wants she wants the full package and if you want to get the hottest girl that you can get as a guy you're looking for a very hot girl you're also looking for you know that intelligent woman that you really want you're looking for the kind of girl that is gonna like that that's going to be girlfriend material relationship material if you want that kind of girl then you're gonna have to grow yourself as a man so the better you can can become as a man then the more options are gonna have with higher quality women and the way that you do that is you look at these points and you tell yourself okay so what does a woman really want and how good am I on this point so it's my confidence how good is my humor how good is my mind attachment how good is my adventure ness how good am I in bed and you can also look at looks and social status and security and loyalty you can look at those things too and ideally try to up every single one of those max them out to a ten right if you can max all those out to a ten that's gonna be your best chance at creating the best relationship with the best highest quality girl that you can find I recommend you do that I think that that's what ultimately personal development leads you towards is getting all of these little pieces into place that you can be the best man for your girl and you don't do that in order to attract her in some sort of sneaky way you do it because you want to be the best man that you can be of course you want to have the best girl that you can have in your own life that's a that's kind of a selfish motive but still I mean she wants the same thing she wants to be a high quality woman and she wants to attract the highest quality man so you guys are really doing the same things and now you're kind of meeting together and if you boost all these things up then you have a really good chance of attracting a really high quality girl ultimately what a woman wants is the full package right and it's very interesting because a lot of times that it will seem like women are after the good looks or they're after the security or the social status and you know some women are someone will really focus in on that but you as a guy do not want to attract a woman based on these these factors here these factors of good looks security social status and loyalty the problem is if you attract a woman based on that you might even succeed for a little bit but you're gonna be you're gonna be living in very dangerous territory because she's always going to be emotionally on the lookout for that edgy coughin humorous guy that's gonna be the problem he said you're gonna be like the provider for her and she's gonna like that logically she's gonna feel nice with you but the girl inside her the feminine energy insider is gonna be pulling every ounce of her being towards the guy who's really stimulating her emotionally and that's why a lot of times a woman will leave the kind of boring guy go for the exciting guy don't blame her for it I mean that's what she wants blame yourself for the fact that you did her based on these stupid factors that you thought were really attracting her but she didn't really want right you kind of tricked her into being with you based on these factors that were not that important to her so make sure that you attract a woman on the factors that are critical not on the ones that aren't and if you're going through and you're trying to improve yourself on all this list of factors focus on the ones that are the most important right focus on your confidence first focus on your humor focused on your detachment focus on yours your edginess if you get those things handled then you know you'll handle the money and the other stuff too but those are really really what are gonna help you to attract the kind of woman that you want and ultimately all of this that is leading towards it's leading towards the fact that a woman wants the stud she wants the guy who can bang a ton of hot girls he has tons of options but then what he does is he finds the perfect one in her and he settles for her and that makes her feel so unique and special right think about it this awesome guy he's super confident he's he's he's funny he's playful he's not attached to anything he's very carefree in the world he's going on adventures and having fun with his friends and he has a lot of experience with other women and now he finds his dream princess that dream princess there she is and she and he thinks that she's the most adorable one and she's the perfect one for him and he chooses her and he gives up all that for her like to a woman that is what you want that is the ideal situation of course it can be hard to get that because usually a guy like that is also not very interested in settling down and giving up all this for that one girl because you have so many other options with other girls but that's your choice whether you want to do that or not that's up to you I recommend building yourself up as a man in every category as much as you possibly can that's personally my strategy for increasing the quality of my dating go ahead and try it out and see how that works for you so this is Leo I'm signing off this is what women really want in a man go ahead post me your comments down below I'd love to hear what you think go ahead and like this if you like this click the like button so other people can see it and then share it as well throw it on Facebook or something and finally I'm gonna direct you to my newsletter come check out my newsletter at actualise org where we are publishing new 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